I’m so tired of being obsessed. It seems like all I do is spend my time laboring over projects, both at home and out with the family and on my own. I’m constantly obsessing.
This is the part of my blog where I get REAL. Just like what my RAQ stands for now. Real and quirky. Yes, yes I am.
I’m obsessed with numbers.
Obsessing over grades.
Obsessing over the kids’ scores.
Obsessing over deadlines.
Obsessing over appointments.
Obsessing over schedules.
Obsessing over driving times.
Obsessing over the scale.
Obsessing over calories.
Obsessing over time spent working out.
Obsessing over paychecks.
Obsessing over bills.
Obsessing over the budget.
Obsessing over having too much.
Obsessing over doing without.
Obsessing over readership.
Obsessing over ranking.
Obsessing over traffic.
Obsessing over comments.
Obsessing over pins.
Obsessing over everything.
I’m tired of being obsessed with numbers.
I just can’t get away from it. My whole life seems to bare down all at once sometimes. It’s hard to let go of the burden of being so much to so many people.
It’s overwhelming. It’s staggering. The numbers threaten to take over every thought in my mind!
I need to step back.
I see how simple it is for my kids. Sure, they have stresses, but they are so innocent and carefree. I’m thankful for that for them. My obsession list is nothing like theirs. If you were to list my daughter’s obsessions, it would read something like:
Obsessed with American Girl Dolls.
Obsessed with teaching myself an instrument.
Obsessed with being stylish.
My oldest son’s list would be even simpler:
Obsessed with Beyblades.
Notice neither of them are obsessed with the numbers.
When do we start getting stressed and caught up in the numbers? At what point is that innocence lost to number crunching, sweating over technicalities, and losing ourselves to such pressures?
How do we gain some of our innocence and unbothered life back?
How do we get rid of the occasional depression, heavyhearted anxiety, and troubles we face with the world on our shoulders as adults?
I don’t have the answer. I’m still trying to keep my head above water most days. I’m a work in progress. Even when I take a break, my mind still has to be in the game. I’m an adult. I have a multitude of responsibilities and I can’t give those back.
Sometimes being a grown up sucks.