Well, well. Here I am at 36 Weeks and 3 days pregnant! I have to admit, this end part has really crept up on me and has me a bit freaked out!
I had a visit with my doula last week, which was fun since we basically just got to catch up and chit chat for a few hours. She was my doula for Charlie’s birth as well. She asked me what I was really wanting from her. Fair question.
I mean, I’m a doula and “know” all the stuff that she could tell me. However, during labor, it’s different. My head is logical and tells me what I need to hear, but my mouth says crazy things and I need to be reigned in.
I didn’t really have an answer besides basically just having someone there to keep me grounded and do some reflective listening and to tell me things were going well. I also always seem to need “permission” to push. I’m not one of those ladies that just GOES for it. I have a hard time letting go and giving in to the feeling, so having someone to tell me to go for it is essential.
Fears and Anxieties, Oh My!
I have discovered that most of my fears surrounding birth are centered around being worried that my care providers won’t be there when I need them, or that I won’t be able to make it to the hospital in time.
Basically, for my first birth I felt quite abandoned during most of my labor (which was SUPER LONG, so I get it I guess).
For my second, I got frustrated with my husband when I told him to call for the midwives to come and he had the nerve to ask me what he was supposed to tell them once he got them on the phone.
For my next birth, the midwives didn’t answer for a long time after I called – apparently the phone was on silent for another birth. That labor was only 3 hours from start to finish, so it made my fear levels rise up pretty high before (and, as a result, has me anxious for subsequent births even though I have chosen to go the hospital route since then…).
For my last birth, the hospital was 20-25 minutes away and I wasn’t really sure when to go in.
For this one, the hospital is more like 45 minutes away. I’m not so nervous about having the baby on the side of the road, but I am concerned about getting prompt postpartum care since I have a tendency to hemorrhage.
Symptoms and Ailments
Let’s see. I haven’t had a ton of crazy symptoms over the past few weeks.
Baby boy’s head is down, thankfully, so no more transverse craziness has been happening.
I have occasional heartburn, but not too much. I’ve been oiling up my belly with fractionated coconut oil a few times a week. I still haven’t gotten any new stretchmarks. I haven’t gotten new ones since my daughter’s pregnancy over 9 years ago, so that’s pretty nice. 😉
I’ve been going to the chiropractor weekly now. I’ve had some round ligament pain, but not a ton. I get hip and pelvic pain if I sit or lay too long, but it’s eased by moving around.
I’ve been hanging out on the birth ball or leaned on it (like an all fours position) quite a bit and leaning forward and tailor sitting as much as possible to encourage this dude to pick a good position. He likes to go posterior and he has certainly not engaged, so I want to do what I can.
I have gotten slightly more swollen hands. They’re normally skinny and all, but I’m grossed out by how they’ve turned into chubby little sausage man hands. Sigh. I know it’ll go down quickly after the birth, so I’m trying not to be too hard on myself.
I also have cankles most evenings. My feet get swollen sometimes, and my sandals don’t fit right because of it.
I can only guess at my weight gain, but I was at over 40 pounds last visit. I have an appointment this Friday, so we’ll see. I’m afraid I’ll probably gain the most with this pregnancy. Sigh again!
That’s about it for now. Stay tuned!